Soil, Stove, Savasana - February 28, 2025
Week 17 - Nosara - Yoga & Cooking
This week’s thought: This women’s retreat I’m cooking for this week has 9 women, all with different dietary needs. All heavy meat eaters, compared to me as mostly vegetarian. Many of them are gluten free, one is grain free, a few are dairy free, and one doesn’t eat chicken. I was talking with one girl while prepping dinner and she said she’s tried all the different “diets”, vegan, vegetarian, and realized the best one is meat-only. The best one according to science I guess? She said her body felt so heavy and rejected all the meat for a while but she just kept pushing through so it would eventually adapt. It seemed odd to me that she would go against signals of her body. It made me start thinking of all the different ways people eat, the diets people push, and the information we are bombarded with on media. As a yogi, movement teacher, and chef, I am constantly asked for my opinion on the “best” diets, what to eat, what someone should be eating, and why. It’s flattering that people value my opinion here and think I have a lot of information about food and wellness. Which I guess I do, it’s part of my job to research it, but it’s just information, not solutions. I have no idea what’s right for their bodies and themselves, unless we spend endless time together. Even then, I’m with myself 24/7 and I’m still on a journey discovering what’s right for my own body. I think this kind of inquiry I get from people is reflective of our society, always asking for others’ opinion and guidance when it comes to health and wellness. When it comes to taking care of yourself: meditating, working out, feeding yourself, even sleeping, there are so many opinions on how to do it. And we seek out these opinions, relying on external approval to tell us yes, that’s how you should be doing this. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation, which comes first? We ask for the advice? Or the advice is pushed on us so then we doubt ourselves? Regardless, the information is available, overly available these days, resulting in an endless spiral of data, countless opinions, conflicting opinions, and no clear path forward. I’ve been victim, I am victim still, to listening to all this noise and relying on external validation for my wellness. It’s nearly impossible not to. I’ve been on an ACTIVE, nearly exhausting, mission to try and escape this. And so I’ve been relying a lot on some of the yogic principles of inner felt sense and listening to my body. The idea that the body knows best even if the mind doesn’t. The mind can lie and plays tricks, the body doesn’t. So what if I ate like my body wants me to, not how others want me to? I’m mostly vegetarian but does that spaghetti bolognese smell amazing and stir up a salivation in my mouth for red meat? Sometimes yes, so I have a bite. Does chicken absolutely not taste good to me or sit well in my stomach, never does. So I don’t eat chicken. Are there times when I feel a little unsatisfied in my meal and the thought of some pasta or rice feels really good in my body when I imagine eating it? A lot of times, yes. And I don’t feel bad after (no reactions), I don’t have a gluten intolerance, so absolutely I will eat doses of carbs to satisfy myself. I’ve even noticed how climate changes the way I want to eat. Here in Costa Rica, the thought of hot and heavy foods like meats and bean stews is icky, probably because my body is hot and dehydrated. Whereas in Minnesota in February, a hot grain bowl with potatoes sounds so nurturing and a watermelon sounds sad. The environment is literally telling me what I need to succeed and feel good where I am. All these self inquiry questions are what I’ve been asking myself as I eat these days, to discover what I want. Most of the time we ignore these questions, but I think that can lead us to the wrong dish. Maybe there isn’t a clear term for what I ‘am’. I eat mostly plant based, but I like good cheese, I love a bit of lasagna, I’ll eat a yummy grilled fish, and eggs when scrambled. But I don’t think there should be a term since my eating is just for me. I eat with one goal, to feel nourished. So now, I cook with one goal, to nourish others. It sounds silly, but really try the next time you eat to block out your mind and listen to your body. Some people would say close your eyes. Sure, if that helps you tune in, but don’t do it if it feels weird. I feel weird doing that. So all this to say, whenever someone asks me my opinion on the best way to eat, this is how I respond. “Eat what your body craves and PLEASE KNOW that whatever that is, you will be more than okay.”
P.S. This is just my way of describing to you the age old concept of intuitive eating. Ain’t new or revolutionary, just a reminder.
TLDR:
Wow what a week. I finished cooking for the family on Saturday and that started the retreat immediately on Sunday and didn’t stop until last night. Family cooking wrapped up super well! They want me back next year when they come again for a month and invited me to their farm in Kentucky! I honestly might go, seems super cool and a good chance to learn more about farming.
The retreat cooking job was full on. It was kind of a far drive so that added some of the effort on top of having to cook lunch, dinner, and prep breakfast (chop fruit, make granola) for each morning. I’ve never worked so hard, moved so much, or chopped so much in my life. My hands are cramping, my lower back hurts, and I’m exhausted. But, I’ve never felt better. I am so lit up with light and life from doing this. I can’t believe I get paid to do this, that’s how I know it’s right. One of the retreat girls asked me if cooking is my passion. I said yes, it’s one of them alongside surfing, yoga, and movement. And I’ve found a place where I can live and work that gives me access to all my passions at once. I feel so grateful and lucky to have found that.
I have to say the retreat meals were AMAZING. I really outdid myself this week with taking them on a culinary journey kind of around the world with different cuisines each meal, all with a fresh and healthy touch. It was tough given the gluten free, dairy free restrictions, and meat heavy emphasis BUT I prevailed. And I got new creative recipes out of it. So that’s a win. They said it was all beyond their expectations and elevated the entire retreat. Patting myself on the back.
I even led a pasta making class for them. I realized that’s something I really love doing, teaching other people about food. I want to pursue this thread a bit more…
Had a really fun time at ecstatic dance on Sunday, the kids I was cooking for were there so we got to dance together and they’re so adorable.
Lots of beach walks with friends this week! That’s been really nice. I forget that sometimes I can end up spending a lot of time alone down here if I don’t have visitors with me. Especially driving back and forth on the quad. It’s really nice to start my day with a thoughtful chat with good friends while walking the beautiful sunny beach and watching the surfers. Insane start to the work day.
Boo Boo at first was cold to me once Horace came back. It’s like she forgot everything I did for her. But then today she wandered over to the casita and cried at the door wanting to come in and hang out. We’ve been hanging out all day now and we’re totally back on good terms. Phew.
I’ve started to plan my next steps. Once I leave Costa Rica after the second teacher training ending in mid April, I’ll fly to SF to spend time with Kelson of course. Then fly from SF to Bali! I’m going to Lombok (the island next to the Bali) in Indonesia for a 7 day surf and yoga retreat. I am the guest this time! No working this retreat. I get 7 days of great yoga, private surf instruction, surf footage, and gorgeous accommodation. I’m so excited. Then I’ll plan on bopping around Indonesia a bit, doing similar things, maybe working a bit, but it seems so cheap there. Not sure yet, this is a big unknown at the moment but I’m excited to have loose plans and take whatever comes up! Eventually I’ll make my way to Thailand (low key it’s still far af, a good 7 hours flight). In Thailand I want to see elephants. I want to go to a temple. And I want to cook. I’ll be going to Bangkok at the tail end of the Thailand segment and go to the Bangkok Cooking Institute for a 2 week crash course on Thai cooking. I’m so excited to finally be able to cook my favorite cuisine. Then fly home from Thailand… probably. More to come.
Highlights & tidbits:
I was cleaning up from working the retreat and one of the girls goes omg this was amazing thank you so much, so this is what you do? I replied, yes, yes this is what I do. It really struck me for a moment of how much I’ve 180’ed my career, and how rather quickly at that. Determination really does work.
One night after a long day of work I got up out of bed and drove to Organico quickly right before they closed to get their $7 fudgy brownie and it was the best thing I’ve ever had.
The swell has been huge and amazing this week. One of my best week’s of surfing. It’s the best start to my day and always makes me feel good.
Breath work was cancelled this week so I led myself in the breath work class and it sorta worked, might be able to start saving $20 every Friday.
Everyone at the retreat loved my granola. I’m going to try and start selling it privately to people, calling it “Good Stuff Granola” since it’s gluten free, no added sugars, weird oils, etc. It really is so good.
My commute to and from work on the quad never fails to amaze me. It’s sunny and beautiful on the way there, I see all the cows right up close, the breeze in my hair. Then coming home it’s under the insane stars, it’s nice and cool but still warm. Wow what a treat.
I got added to a retreat collective down here, full of people who offer various things to help retreats run. As of a chef of course. That feels like a really great in to this community and more work!
I’m really feeling like a “look change up” coming on soon… deciding if that’s a new haircut, a delicate noise piercing, or both? Unsure, open to suggestions and Pinterest board links for inspiration.
I miss Kelson, I miss my family, and I miss my friends. Good thing is, Charlotte comes today, family starts coming Monday, Kelson comes in 10 days!! I’m really feeling the need to see my people, but not go “home”. I want my people to come here and integrate into my life here and that’s exactly what’s happening so I’m stoked. Still miss all my SF people though - see you guys soon! And Frannie. I can’t even talk about how much I miss Frannie.
Overheard in Nosara:
A girl from the family I was cooking for said, with a full mouth, “Well I can’t have dessert quite yet because I gotta finish my MEATballllll”
A guy I met at ecstatic dance the next day after the dance when I saw him at a cafe, “Hey sis how was your dance, love you sis!” (We just met)
Announcements post ecstatic dance: “I’m hosting a gathering, it’s just gonna be lots of amazing women coming together talking, chanting, signing, sharing our gifts, it’s a really wonderful experience. Yes that’ll be $60 entry”
Talking with a retreat woman, so it’s $20 ecstatic dance, $20 breathwork, $20 a few times a week yoga, what’s the cost of being well here?
Unnecessary honking from TukTuks when walking to the beach in my bikini. I started flipping them off and it’s stopped.
When the surf instructors out in the waves with me see a good wave coming that they can’t take because they have their lesson, they yell “GOOOOOOOOO”
“Hablas linda espanol!”, the housekeeper told me my Spanish was good. We chat now while I cook and it’s a great way to practice.
